Winner: Chief High Court Justice Helen Winkelmann
Winkelmann has decided that author and journalist David Fisher's confidential notes and transcripts from his book on Kim Dotcom are not covered by the Privacy Act, meaning the GCSB and police can get their mitts on them. Curse you Winkelmann you complete wanker – you’ve just helped undermine research in this country for the sake of the spies. Because you clearly didn’t think about, here’s what it means.
Honourable mention: Tony Blair. On the growing presence of violence in Iraq Blair, with a completely straight face, said, “We have to liberate ourselves from the notion that ‘we’ have caused this. We haven't". Firstly, Tony, stop using the term ‘liberate’. Every time you do there’s trouble. Secondly, unless the ‘we’ being talked about is you and George, go fuck yourself you pompous, irrelevant, wanker. FYI you can earn quite a bit of money by making a citizens arrest on him. Tell me that's not got the makings of a terrific drinking game, and it’s probably less painful than streaking, too.
Saint of the last seven days.
Winner: The English football team
Because it’s the only thing they’ll win this week.
Honourable mentions: Rachel King for putting together a terrific writer’s festival programme in Christchurch; The Beatles, 50 years since they came to these shores and the music is still great, except for You can’t buy me love, which offends prostitutes everywhere; and Michael Schumacher for simply getting out of bed, you great man.