Dr Jarrod Gilbert Sociologist
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Research
  • s27 Reports
  • Contact

Me and my dead mate.

25/12/2013

9 Comments

 
Chris was my everything. That sounds almost silly, but it’s true. I met him on a skateboard and we became best friends. I was 14 he was 15. He died at 22.

I hope I can prove he was my everything because 19 years after he died I still take a pilgrimage every Christmas day to Timaru, the place where a youthful vow became set in stone. Back in 1993, we decided, as angst-ridden teens, that we would spend every Christmas together fishing, because that’s what we were doing at the time.

I went on a trip to Christchurch – to write a great novel, yet to materialise – and he dutifully came down to maintain the pact. We hit the road in all of the spirit of the great Kerouac novel that inspired me. We got as far as Timaru for Christmas and fished unsuccessfully on the wharf. We drank and dreamed of ways, thankfully unfulfilled, to free the elephant at the circus ready to perform at Caroline Bay. He died six months later.

We hitch-hiked around the South Island, chasing fun and girls. The former with success. It was not the greatest time of my life; it was normal. Just him and I.

For the years he was alive we were two. Invite one to a party, and the other was always there. We were inseparable. I couldn’t have loved the man more. I knew it but never had to say it. Not until I said it to the corpse in that coffin. A bad time to say it. We were bullet proof. At least we thought we were.

For a young man, he was generous. Always generous. On the trip to the Bay of Islands, he as an apprentice plumber and me as a student, he paid for whatever I couldn’t afford. But we were broke. As always, though, we had enough. We carved our names into the sandstone around the road to Russell. Sandstone fades but he will last longer, I hope. I carved him into the dedication of the book I finally wrote. I always knew I would. Even when dusty and forgotten he will live. Unfitting, perhaps, but in years his name will live on. Chris Hallam. It’s the best I could do.

For months after he died I could not drink without crying. My heart was always heavy but when I drank it flooded. I found the pain in so many ways honest. I hated and loved it. Time dulls that, thank god, but each year I go to Timaru to fulfill a promise. Sometimes I wallow in old feelings and I can’t help but cry. Other times I just sit in the car and then drive straight home. A quick thought, then off.

So much has changed, mate, yet I still come to that little town. And now I have started to cry. To this day I couldn’t miss you more. I hope you would be proud of me. I was always proud of you.

It’s our Christmas.

9 Comments
tans
25/12/2013 12:38:37 pm

R.I.P Chris. What a heartfelt tribute Jarrod.

Reply
Jarrod
26/12/2013 07:12:58 am

Thanks so much, mate.

Reply
Helen Aitken
25/12/2013 01:00:09 pm

He sounds like an awesome bloke Jarrod. Sorry you lost such a good mate. I now know why not to invite you for Christmas Day xx

Reply
Jarrod
26/12/2013 07:13:40 am

Thanks Helly. Hope you're having a good Christmas period.

Reply
Donna and John hallam
25/12/2013 02:34:57 pm

John and I can't begin to. tell you just how touched we were to read your tribute to Chris and the dedication in your book. We knew you were good mates but we never realised just how very close you were! We were only in new-Zealand last week, and as always visiting Chris is always foremost on our minds . Congratulations on the publication of your book and we know you will sell many. Take care and again thank you! Much love Donna and John

Reply
Jarrod
26/12/2013 07:16:29 am

I'm really pleased you read and appreciated the post. It was a terrible bloody thing to write. I think him about him often. I really hope you are both well, it would be great to see you again. Warmest regards as ever, Jarrod

Reply
Donna and John Hallam
26/12/2013 07:45:32 am

Would love to catch up with you next time we come back to New-Zealand. Not sure when that will be but could send you a txt . I have a FB page so I could always keep in touch that way! Or you can send me a pm with your phone number. Take care Jarrod love Donna & John xx

Greg
25/12/2013 02:43:29 pm

Nice blog mate, good to hear about Chris. Timaru. God, that's the measure of afriendship

Reply
Jarrod
26/12/2013 07:19:15 am

Ha ha quite true. The missus has family down there now, so at this stage that is enhancing the place a bit, but much to be monitored still on that front.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Disclaimer

    I reserve the right to change my mind in the face of superior evidence.

    Sponsored by

    Picture

    Picture

    WINNER: BEST BLOG

    Archives

    April 2022
    October 2019
    March 2018
    February 2018
    August 2017
    June 2017
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly