Dr Jarrod Gilbert Sociologist
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Research
  • Court Reports
  • Contact

My madness mitigated. The Canon Media Awards 2015

20/5/2015

5 Comments

 
PictureSounds like... Me doing charades at the Canon Media Awards.
It was a miracle that I beat Steve Braunias. And thus I was Canonised in that most important of Auckland’s cathedrals, Sky City. In a curse hitherto unknown, however, it means this blog will be rather average.

The afternoon had started well. I met Sir Thomas Thorp, a legend of New Zealand’s judiciary. I was honoured by the assignment but it also had the latent consequence of ensuring I didn’t start drinking early. I told him this and he smiled a 90 year-old smile. There’s a man, I thought, who knows the perils of awards. In the end, though, that detour proved to be a curse.

The New Zealand Herald, with whom I have started a column courtship, said I could join them for a pre-drink. But I arrived on a cold engine. I had no lubrication on which the gears of my important nights run so smoothly. The company was great but I tried to catch up, to drink myself into my mojo. Despite what others say, awards nights are not about acknowledging the greatness in a given field, they are about an adventure; unmitigated, throw-it-all-to-the wind adventure. There are few times in life when society gives you a free pass for madness.

I tried to make up my ground but I was lacklustre. I’m not a fan of crowds and lacking fuel, the crowd suffocated my social desires until I was squeezed to the side of good manners. I moaned at the brilliant Jolisa Gracewood’s husband before realising the person I was speaking to preferred the intimate company of another gender and was consequently not married to Jolisa at all. For a few seconds I was anathematised to my wider social awkwardness and riddled with simple personal awkwardness. I reached for another drink.

Being canonised in the media isn’t what one might call exclusive. A Canon Media award is given for so many categories that the ability to starve off sleep should really be one of them. By my last count there were 42.000 awards. Best feature writer, columnist,  photograph, video, best news story involving a trampoline etc. My interest was piqued by some fine people winning (and some fine people losing) but the only thing to really wake me from my slumber was my name being read.

I leapt to my feet, confused. Reality enveloped me in the form of Beck Eleven who whispered congratulations before suggesting in menacing tones that I mention her in my speech.

A speech. I hadn’t considered a speech. That would have meant considering winning. A few weeks earlier I had done a poll at the Wintec Press event of journalists I greatly admire. The most polite of these considered the possibility of me winning for about three seconds and all concluded Braunias was a genius and I had no chance.

As I grabbed at my award like a starving man might a sandwich, I was offered a microphone. You shouldn’t have, I said.

The last time I was given such an opportunity I had threatened to punch Annabel Langbein in the pavlova, but there was no such eloquence here. I rambled a few words, looking rather awkward. I was in a wave of shock. My usual confidence and boorishness left me making me feel like I had immersed naked into my own surprise party.

And this is where things get really disappointing. Instead of rolling around drunk and railing at the injustice of loss, I was forced to contend with the kindness and goodwill of congratulations. I gritted my teeth through this and bristled at the poor fortune that victory springs upon an unsuspecting man.

History gave me no comfort. I wasn’t standing on the shoulders of giants; I was standing on the stomach of a giant idiot.

The hugs from some great friends aside, my only pleasure came when I met Hilary Barry and could tell her I thought her crying at the great John Campbell’s departure was a truly beautiful TV moment. I lent forward and whispered in her ear that Michael Laws, who had called her unprofessional, was a cunt. Beck asked if that was the first time that word had been whispered in her ear but Hilary was nonplussed. I figured maybe it wasn’t. I went back to skulking around. Creating no madness. No stories.

At this point I fear my ungrateful tone may sound churlish. But I hope that’s offset by the fact that when I awoke, I gained a not insignificant comfort. I looked at those who had won awards (and many who hadn’t) and I felt rather privileged to exist along side them. This was an achievement of which one should be proud.

And all of a sudden my swagger returned. Next year I will win best columnist! For that I will plan a speech. And if I don’t win I will drink myself into an impeccable rudeness and by god the blog will be a great one.

5 Comments
pepperann link
28/5/2015 01:45:54 am

A bit late but still sincere - ka pai you!!!

Reply
https://tutuappx.com/ link
5/9/2023 12:12:52 am

It's incredible how Thomas Preining managed to salvage fifth place despite the challenges he faced during the race. The determination he showed in driving a damaged Porsche to the finish line speaks volumes about his skills and commitment. Qualifying might not have gone his way, but Preining's ability to capitalize on his competitors' misfortunes on Sunday allowed him to extend his lead in the DTM standings. His attitude towards the race outcome, considering the intense competition and tight racing conditions, is a testament to his sportsmanship. With the championship lead at the halfway point, Preining has shown he's a force to be reckoned with. The Manthey EMA team's performance overall was commendable, and even though the desired home race win eluded them, their achievements so far are undoubtedly impressive. As the season progresses, it will be thrilling to see if Preining can maintain his lead and secure the championship title.

Reply
Vidmate link
5/9/2023 12:13:31 am

Reply: It's incredible how Thomas Preining managed to salvage fifth place despite the challenges he faced during the race. The determination he showed in driving a damaged Porsche to the finish line speaks volumes about his skills and commitment. Qualifying might not have gone his way, but Preining's ability to capitalize on his competitors' misfortunes on Sunday allowed him to extend his lead in the DTM standings. His attitude towards the race outcome, considering the intense competition and tight racing conditions, is a testament to his sportsmanship. With the championship lead at the halfway point, Preining has shown he's a force to be reckoned with. The Manthey EMA team's performance overall was commendable, and even though the desired home race win eluded them, their achievements so far are undoubtedly impressive. As the season progresses, it will be thrilling to see if Preining can maintain his lead and secure the championship title.




Reply
Nayan
22/1/2024 01:28:22 pm

Thanks for sharing

Reply
talktogiantfoods survey link
26/11/2024 07:06:56 am

Visit https://www.talktogiantfood.com.co/ to take the Giant Food survey and share your feedback on your recent shopping trip. To get started, enter the survey code from your receipt, then provide your thoughts on the store's products, customer service, and overall environment. The survey is open to customers over 18 years old with a valid receipt. By completing the survey, participants may be rewarded with special discounts or entries into sweepstakes. Giant Food employees and their families are not eligible to participate.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Disclaimer

    I reserve the right to change my mind in the face of superior evidence.

    Sponsored by

    Picture

    Picture

    WINNER: BEST BLOG

    Archives

    April 2022
    October 2019
    March 2018
    February 2018
    August 2017
    June 2017
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly